Focus on YOU!

“在協助客戶編修留學申請文件SoP (Statement of Purpose) 的過程中，我們發現到有些人因為不太清楚SoP的本質，因此在寫作時一不小心就失了焦。

在過去，我們也見過有些申請人在寫作SoP闡述研究經驗時，其內容大致是這樣：我的大學指導教授是在國內xxx領域相當知名的學者，他本身和他的實驗室都得獎無數。老師指派給我的論文研究題目是xxx，我當時一看就覺得非常有興趣、一直很認真地不分晝夜做研究，我常常是實驗室裡面最後一個走的。我在老師和學長姐的帶領之下培養了多元的研究基礎，去年在一個整合性相當高的project當中，我被指派的是的ooooo這一部分，我學習到了、、、我相當感謝老師和學長給我一個機會體驗到分工合作的重要性，讓我有機會完成了人生中的第一個獨立研究，我相信未來我在貴校學習和做研究時也會充分發揮這樣的團隊合作精神。

親愛的讀者不妨思考一下：
上面的例子是個成功說故事的方式嗎？有沒有更好的表達方法呢？
申請人應該利用SoP傳達什麼訊息？(什麼樣的訊息適合利用SoP來傳達？哪些不適合？)
SoP與一般國內(中文寫作)申請大學讀書計畫有什麼差異？

在下面的文章中，主編提供了一個有趣的案例，說明在寫作SoP時的重點也和大家分享其他人在寫作時可能遇到的煩惱。

Dear readers and potential clients among those preparing to embark on the application process for studying abroad in the West,

I’ll be posting a series of short posts to offer my advice and tips regarding content of documentation and mental preparation (and other preparation) for studying abroad in the coming few weeks. Also I’ll offer some general tips, share some stories about both wretched and successful clients, and address some general issues that I hope will be helpful to readers. My intent is to share some of what I’ve observed and realized especially this year but also over all the past years we’ve been working on these types of cases. In fact I think we will likely move on in future years to other more rewarding work, but I hope that we did accomplish something meaningful and we can share the benefit of our wisdom with you.

I had a great client this past fall that always bombarded me with lots of specific and sometimes seemingly trivial questions regarding wording and content of his application documentation.

I think my wife worried that he was pissing me off but in fact he is one of my favorite recent clients that is because the best clients should be truly engaged in the narrative of their documents and understand them thoroughly and “own” them as is said in colloquial American English: i.e. make them one’s own work and possession to use and defend. It was tough when we were working around the clock to meet the upload deadlines that were ever nearing but actually I enjoy doing so when the questions are well considered and helpful for the client to truly grasp the process. {Of course we had some trollishly crass questions directed at us as well such as when one client insisted that there should be no actual main verb in a present progressive structure which was just a purely ignorant and annoying  question – and of course I can’t be responsible to teach clients basic English skills that children ought to have learned such as why “we are going” is correct and “we going” is incorrect. Grow up people!}

Our client “Liu” had a number of great questions and one concerned the way to mention professors in application materials such as statements of purpose. {Later in another post I want to address a related issue – ‘proving’ in words that you are actually capable of independent research – something everyone in modern education should have been doing all through their higher education but which clients have explained to me is woefully lacking certainly in Taiwan. That is a huge obstacle not only for the success of your applications but also your actual academic advancement.}

Regarding the whole focus and attitude projected in your documents – it should be all about you. Only drop some names of others – be they individuals or institutions – in passing if at all. More specifically it should be about how you fit and are prepared for the institution and the studies for which you are applying.

Here is a slightly edited version of my response in which I address the deep cultural difference that informs the difference in values between East and West:

“From an American's perspective it is actually kind of weird that you mention ANYONE besides yourself in your SoP, even someone who might be pretty well known in certain social / professional circles. That is because the statement of purpose should be all about you and your interest in your target program and the faculty and researchers there. 

Honestly, whoever you knew in Taiwan is irrelevant. The only thing that is important is your own skills and abilities. In Taiwan you are always evaluated within the context of your peers, social background, and relationships. It is not that Americans totally don't do that but certainly well-educated Westerners are always looking at individuals and their abilities first and foremost. Americans perceive people who always talk about ‘working with A or B person,’ ‘ cooperating with a group’ and continually emphasize ‘teamwork’ as people who may be weak, lazy, lacking initiative, depending on others for results and help and in general "spongers" i.e., those who attain advancement through the work and / or benefits created by others.

Therefore, I regularly delete the names of professors from SoPs especially if a client writes "with the help of X," “only thanks to the guidance of X” and so on – all pointless platitudes inappropriate within a Western cultural context. That is direct proof to an American that you are not capable of being a self-sufficient individual. To be polite you might mention them in another way, or as in a business situation when you are the leader and you must be sure to acknowledge everyone for the actual work that they have contributed to YOUR project.

Oriental and Occidental cultures are very different, or were. A scenario from the deep past to inform us:

I am chief -- and I got there by being extremely tough and smart -- probably killed someone who insulted me or defended someone else, or very successful in the hunt and / or exhibited the favor of the gods and earned more respect in our tribe. My word is irreproachable because I prove my value through results. We go hunting. You kill a deer. It was your shot that killed the deer -- maybe others only slightly wounded it. You are honored. Only you. Today and tomorrow we eat because you were favored with the best skill that day. All hail Liu say I.

If you could say instead "Oh but I could do this only because I got great help from B" -- everyone is like "What?!" @@!

The inferred meaning of that is that B actually killed the deer and you just carried it home. No honor for you instead shame. You let us think you killed the deer. If you say instead "I commemorate this kill to my great teacher who taught me to shoot so that my strength and speed could kill this deer with such an amazing feat did anyone see another do such as I?” Or "All honor to you Liu!! Remember to give an honored piece to your old teacher when you share with us. Be generous!"

That is today still the default social reality of Western culture. In fact no American would ever ask your question. Even the best teacher will not help you ‘when you go to hunt.’ Your words and the proof of your feats and skills are what impress admissions committees, not who you know. All Americans know this instinctively from growing up in that culture.

So, you should absolutely talk about your research project and you don't need to mention your advisor's name. You don't need to mention anyone ever.

Even in LoRs these people are just saying he has these skills we know and you can ask us. If they have the time to know you, the context (teacher, advisor, boss) or better benefited from your work, that is a strong LoR.” Their ability to know you well is what makes them a good reference not their own fame.

So dear reader – keep these factors in mind when preparing not only your application documentation but even as you embark upon your academic endeavors abroad.